Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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