You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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