Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
