I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
