Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
