You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
