she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
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