Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
She bit a glass in half.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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