Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
