her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Randomize
