I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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