I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
