if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
