I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
