I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
