My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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