I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
