So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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