does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
