k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
