we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
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