If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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