Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
