I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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