My room smells like vodka and shame
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
