it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
