lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
