ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
