Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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