life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
