16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
God I need to hump something, right now.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
