please come you make the beer taste better
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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