I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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