so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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