Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
