Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
MIDGETS
????
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize