My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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