Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Acid is not a monday night drug
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Every concussion has its silver lining
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
