Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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