No, drunk sperm still make babies.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
