I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
