just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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