not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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