How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I am one with the molecules
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
