drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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