I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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