im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Just high enough for therapy.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
