I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
