I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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