just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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