If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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