Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize