Kareoke will never be a sober sport
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
