so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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