Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize