So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Reggie can tackle my bush.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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