yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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