I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
We just shotgunned beers for America
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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