Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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