My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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