If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
