i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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