I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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