I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
