This girl is more easily done than said...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
