She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
please come you make the beer taste better
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
