I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
be right there i have to get my cape
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize
