I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Is it because I queefed?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
