Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
This toilet bowl is my home.
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