You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Shame - the story of my life.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
