i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
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