You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
